I want to write a note to you that says, "I love you and thank you for allowing me to be your mother." I realize there were times that you probably wished you could trade me in for one of your friends' mother but you were "stuck" with me. To be honest there were times when I wished you behaved as well as another mother's child. But that wish was only for a fleeting moment in a lifetime of joy and pain, laughter and tears. That mother with the "well-behaved" children would confide in me that she wished her children were as well-behaved as mine.I would sneak in and look at you when you were asleep at night and just stare at you. You were such beautiful children and my heart would literally ache with all the love I felt for you. This is the only time I could lovingly look at you because during the day you were never silent or still long enough. I was kept busy with girl scouts, boy scouts, soccer, baseball and softball, not to mention the numerous school plays and classroom parties. But you know I would not trade all the practices and games for a trip to a spa where I would be pampered and treated like a queen.
You brought your friends over and the house was constantly in disarray from toys and sporting equipment but I always found time to dust and straighten the house after you went to bed. The dust would always be there but you grew so fast I did not want to miss a day of your life. As you grew your toys became more expensive and complicated. Baseball bats gave way to stereos and bikes and scooters were replaced by cars. During all this time I enjoyed being your mother.
There were times when I Waited up nights for you to return home from dates and paced the floor until I heard the car pull into the driveway. I would then hurry to bed so you wouldn't know that I was waiting for you. There was the time I received the news no parent wants to hear. You had an accident in the car but thankfully, you were not hurt. I always told you that you have a guardian angel and you were being protected by your angel.
Yes, I am your mother and did my best to instill values in you that would make you a person you could be proud to be. I loved you enough to risk your anger when I asked where you were going, with whom, and instructed to be home by your curfew. Yes, you thought the curfew was ridiculous and unfair but you knew why it was necessary. I loved you enough to let you learn that the friend you thought so much of was nothing more than a manipulator who only wanted to use you. I wanted you to see that moms are humans and make mistakes too. I want you to understand that "I'm sorry" is not admitting weakness but rather showing great courage. I wanted to show you that we all must face the consequences and assume responsibility for our actions no matter how old we are.
I watched you stumble and fall many times, but was always there to help you get back up. I hurt when you hurt but did not want to diminish the life lessons by stepping in and taking away all your pain, rather, I shared the pain with you. I hope the hard times we experienced helped to shape you into a person that is able to empathize with someone else's pain and will offer to help those people who need help without thinking about the glory and rewards you might receive.
I want you to know that I have loved you unconditionally even when you hated me for saying NO when you thought I was only being mean to you. I want you to know that was the hardest part of being your mom. I want to remember that I will always be with you. The most important lesson I want you to learn from me is that God is there for you and will pick you up when you fall. He will be with you even when your mother can't.Love,Your Mom.
Just as we love our children God has given to us for a short time, God loves us, His children. He wants what is best for us even though at times we think He has forgotten about us. He is always there waiting for us to ask Him for help when we need it. He does not rescue us from every situation because He knows our struggles will bring us closer to Him. Just like the mother who will sacrifice anything for her children, He has made the ultimate sacrifice for us. He gave His only son to die for us so might live. Just as earthly parents need to chastise their children our Father in heave chastises His children because He loves us so much. Take a few minutes today to focus on how loving God is to you and how He shows that love to you.
Father God, thank you so much for your son who died for us so we might live. May we never forget the importance of that love. Keep us in your sheltering arms and pick us up when we fall. Help us to remember that you are there for us when we need you and all we need to do is ask for your help.
This is a sample of the book I am currently working on. I hope you enjoy.