Wednesday, December 2, 2009

The Language of Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs

Emerson Eggerichs has uncovered the secret of communication between males and females. According to him the woman sees though pink glasses and hears through pink hearing aids while the man sees through blue glasses and hears through blue hearing aids. This difference in how the male and female speak and hear can cause much confusion in their communication. Although something is said that in itself is not meant to cause miscommunication, because the pink and the blue hearing can create confustion. This is called the "crazy cycle" and we must decode what is meant through what is said. A woman wants to feel love and a man wants to feel respect. Eggerichs tells us we must ensure that our spouse is made to feel loved/respected by what we say. If the husband's words makes the wife feel unloved she will respond in ways that, to him, seem disrespectful. This works in reverse--if she says something that makes him feel disrespected, he will respond in a way that make her feel unloved.

Eggerichs also explains the chairs/couple concept to explain this difference and what males and females must do in order to communicate with each other better. These concepts, as well as the TUFTS concept are presented in a clear, understandable way that makes them easy to internalize and use in real life.

I enjoyed this book and plan to use these concepts in my own marriage and relationships. I recommenc this book to other couples who need help in communicating with their mate.

This book was reviewed for Thomas Nelson Publishers.